thene: Happy Ponyo looking up from the seabed (0)
From: [personal profile] thene
with thanks to Nakki, Kat, and everyone else who's chipped in over the years)

...your friends ask for recommendations for a good book and you hand them LHM and then apologize.'s possible to gauge your mood by the distance between your LHMs and your bed. no longer has a name; when referring to it, initials are ample, and 'that sodding book' or 'the exploding pink fluff' will do fine.'ve found yourself turning your lights out at bedtime, then turning them on again ten minutes later because you HAVE to read more LHM - many, many times.'ve laminated your copies, and obscured the back covers with masking tape. write letters to people in purple ink on pink paper.

...all other HoV books exist only to provide context for the LHM. You only read Winds of Fury for the Dating-Advice-For-Catgirls-Scene, and your mental image of the whole Arrows series consists of Van and Stef playing The Sims.'ve caught yourself quoting Moondance during arguments in pubs.

...the word 'cross-pollinate' makes you titter. wonder what Yfandes was doing for the 500 years Van and Stef were 'cross-pollinating'.'ve had shipwars over what is, essentially, the same pairing. (Okay ,so I've heard that Doctor Who fans do this too)

...every time you hear about new fungus that affects plants, you wince in sympathy-pain

...your friend starts dating someone twice their age who has teenage children, and you think this is the most normal thing in the world. (Variation: your friend, who has teenage children, starts dating someone half their age and you think this is the most normal thing in the world.)

...the difference between 'rereading' and 'completely rereading' is the entire second volume. know what Vanyel's name means in Quenya. rate all other books in comparison to the LHM. Yes, other books can outscore the LHM, but your benchmark is the LHM.'ve sometimes woken up in the middle of the night desperate to know if Stef was wearing shoes on p51 of vol 3, or why Vanyel moved rooms between the second and third volumes, or how Lendel managed to look so pretty even after taking that long walk off the top of the belltower. find the scent of sandalwood inexplicably arousing. read the LHM because Van's depressingly awful life reminds you just how good your own is. spell it P-O-R-N. collect feathers, and contemplate getting a bird of prey, just to entice people to your bed. think about yourself in third person just so you can use your usename you've come up with. try to learn to play the guitar simply to be able to play "My Lady's Eyes" for the senseless drivel! have some, or all, of the soundtrack.

...before you pirated any the soundtrack, you made up your own tune to the Shadow-Lover song.

...and are now annoyed that you can no longer remember it, damnit.

...the Jehovah's Witnesses knock at your door and ask if you read the Bible; you ask if they read the LHM.
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21 Days of Disney!

April 2016


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